the adventures of the outside

I like to explore and discover. Little things can make me smile, like the way the clouds are floating in the sky, or the way the leaves are rustling in the wind. I met a bird named Mister Buttermilk. He hopped from branch to branch, whistling to me all the while. He was very sweet, but I haven't seen him again.
I watched the sun set from my new sitting spot.

But then I went out another day, and I saw a butterfly with a torn wing. It couldn't fly and I felt so sad. Suddenly I had remembered that outside wasn't always as beautiful and happy as I remembered ...

"i want your smile to never fade away"

there once was a girl who sang love songs loudly when nobody was listening. she didn't sing them with anyone in mind. she just sung them because they made her happy.

i want to be wild

Lately this strange feeling has taken me over. Instead of being content with just sitting inside all day, being online, playing my guitar or gluing things into my journal, I have been abandoning it all and just going to play outside. I even wanted to get some feathers to put in my hair. I have never been much of an outside person. When I was young everyone in my family used to comment on how I was the quiet, inside one. Over the years though, I think I let everyone pigeonhole me as "the inside girl" and I stopped going outside to play at all. Then I grew up some more and nobody seemed to need to go outside anymore. Everything anyone really needed was on the inside. We could loose ourselves in someone else's life on television, or while away the hours chatting online.

While I still go out quite often, I never really just went outside and looked at everything. So now I have this little spot in my garden where I go to walk around and explore and watch. There is another garden fences off in the middle, the old, abandoned vegetable patch. It's so overgrown, whereas the grass around it is cut short and blunt. It's exploding with pumpkins and vines too. I would go in if I weren't so afraid of snakes. There is a tree full of yellow flowers, and when the wind blows the petals just trickle off and drift to the ground. I can lay down on my back and watch the clouds, or lay down on my stomach and watch the ants.

I am glad to go outside again. I truly feel like Mary going into her garden and, everyday, feeling a bit stronger and a bit happier. It's the magic. The magic of the world.

a small warning?

I've never known what career I want to have after I leave school, so I just took the advice of a teacher and decided to take business subjects, for the purpose of studying business at university. But since I've been able to have a taste of business through taking these subjects, I'm really quite positive it's something I definitely do not want to do. Accounting especially is so soul sucking! I appreciate that there are some who enjoy it, and I actually do to some extent, but it's boring. I couldn't imagine me spending the rest of my life crunching numbers. Ick! Also, I've had two part time jobs and hated them to the extreme, even though they were actually pretty good jobs. I just couldn't stand working. How silly is that?! So I have been kind of worried about what I'm going to do after school. Maybe a year off? Maybe not? My parents have their hearts set on me studying accounting ... oh dear.

BUT, recently I made a discovery about myself, and it's that I love analysing people, personalities and emotions. I do it all the time, and I love to do it. I never really realized that I did it, until I saw someone just mention studying psychology on their blog. My mind pretty much instantly went "oh my gooooooodnesssssss, DUH!". I had never really considered this, because I've been to see school councilors before and really, really didn't like it. I had instantly ruled out being that kind of person. I looked up information on the course and found out that psychology can be used in a while range of jobs though. So I am really excited, because I have finally found something that I think I really want to do. The slight "problem" though, is that I need to get an OP of 5. I don't even understand how "OP"s are determined or any of that kind of stuff - school has not explained this very well and I'm super confused - but I do know that 5 is going to be a challenge for me to get. I get good grades, but I'll need to buckle down and study like I never have before. (Seeing as I have honestly never studied before in my life ...) Therefore, the point of all this, was to give a forewarning that I don't know how often I will be able to update. I should be okay at first, but I could get super stressed and freaked out or something crazy. Who knows?!?! My attempts at studying will probably go out the window almost straight away, because being bored and/or stressed is just not an option for me.

I know this post was a little ... "random" or "off-topic", but I just wanted to warn you lovelies! I adore blogging, so I hope I won't have to go on some kind of hiatus, but it's my last year of school, & so is consequently super important. I hope you understand ♥

my favourite things

I am feeling very, very lazy today. i think it has something to do with how hot it has been here lately. I have been thinking all summer, "wow, it really isn't that hot this year!" but now summer is here in all it's glory to prove me wrong.

So, i have decided to show you some links that i adore, and that keep me entertained on days like these.

Morning Sunshine is a page of adorable little games to play! I find the games relaxing but not entirely pointless - excellent also for afternoons and evenings when you are feeling stressed or upset.

Sofia Ajram's Flickr photostream is really beautiful. Her photos have a kind of fairytale aesthetic, but are also quite grown up and serious.

Being a fan of black and white photography, I love the 60 Inspiring Examples of it!

Learn more about your star sign at Astrology in India! I love this website, because it has many differnet sections on the one star sign and is very informative. I read all of mine (cancer!) and even looked up my friends' star signs as well - it's so accurate! I love reading star signs because they can describe certain things about your personality that you knew you had, but never knew how to accurately explain it yourself.

The Medicinal Uses of Lavender was an interesting read. I recently purchased a bottle of lavender oil and i love it! i use it on my skin, and it heals amazingly, as well is putting it on my pillows to help me sleep easier at night.

The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun is amazing, amazing, AMAZING!

Ruche is an adorable (and super affordable!) online clothing store. I'm in love!

"RUCHE is a modern women's boutique with a vintage touch. We try to find items that are new, in-style, trendy, yet still inspired by a vintage look. We handpick each product to give you the perfect selection of clothing, accessories and more."

the dolls' theatre

I've been let in on a very special secret and have been invited to ...



I have tickets to a few perfomances, and I want you to come with me! But we are absolutely sworn to secrecy! We cannot tell a soul, especially not any adults. Most adults wouldn't believe in such a thing, and the magic might die.

Here are the tickets, shh! Tonight we are going to see Romeo and Juliet. I also have tickets to see the Swan Lake ballet, so I hope you will come with me to see that too. Remember to sign the back of the ticket - it has a space where you can, to promise that you won't tell anyone!

Items in this set:

Bubble Hem Polka Dot Dress - UTTAM Direct, 45 GBP
Anna Sui Nylon ruffled trench coat, $550
Christian Louboutin High Satin Peep Toes with Knot, 535 GBP
Lanvin Oulala satin clutch, $1,090
Lee Angel Multi-strand glass pearl necklace, $450

I am very glad I can trust you with this secret, and so are the dolls. They are very excited to see you there, too. ♥

How To Be HAPPY

i have come to realize that a lot of people just don't know HOW to be happy. i even asked myself how i am happy, and i had trouble answering it myself, at first. i understand that becoming truly happy will be a different process for everyone, but there are some things that i think everyone can do to become just a little bit more happy.

1. you have to understand that even happy people are sad sometimes. if you try and be happy in the face of everything, and don't allow yourself some time to actually be upset if need be. if you don't, then you will just become really emotionally exhausted and burnt out, which will, inevitably, lead to being more unhappy than happy.

2. you also have to understand, though, that you shouldn't get really upset over everything. if things just aren't going your way, find a way to fix it! sometimes when you are having an unlucky or bad day, you just have to go with it until it's over. but don't let it bring you down! if i'm having an especially bad time, i like to look at the clouds because they are so relaxing! if there are no clouds or it's rainy, i watch the trees instead. i always find that looking at little things in nature makes me feel best, because it always amazes me and i can get lost in my imagination.

3. stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or what they are thinking. if you keep wondering what others are thinking about you, it will only ever lead you to becoming really insecure. i know it's harder to do than it sounds, and it might take a while to stop doing it, but life instantly become a hundred times better once you stop caring what anyone else thinks of you. the way i did it was to become selfish in a way. i did things for myself, and myself only. i wore clothes that i love, not to impress anyone, but because they made me happy. i did what i wanted to make me happy and stopped trying to impress anyone at all. i mean, really, why should you care about what some random person thinks of you? they don't know anything about you, and if they want to make silly assumptions, then that's their choice. but chances are that they probably aren't thinking anything bad anyway!

4. have a major clean up & clean out of your life! honestly, getting rid of all my old CRAP that had been sitting around in my room for years was one of the best things i ever did. this means cleaning out everywhere! i only have my bedroom to take care of, but wherever it is that you store all your things, CLEAN IT OUT! this means under your bed & in your cupboards, wardrobe & drawers, along with everywhere else. make sure everything is de-cluttered. my mum helped me a little when i cleaned out my room, and her motto was, "if it doesn't have a place to go, chuck it!". if you can't bear to throw some things away, but they don't have a place, get some of those big plastic tubs that can slide under your bed. i have for or five of them full of all my toys, haha! get rid of all your old clothes, too. give them to charity or other people that may want them, and then you will feel extra-good for helping out someone else as well!

5. stop judging other people. just stop doing it altogether. this is also another process that takes a while to stop, because it's usually just habit to laugh at someone or make assumptions about someone just because of what they look like. when you judge people, it's just a show of how insecure you really are about your own identity. i used to laugh when people would say that insecurity is the reason for judging and making fun of others, but now i know that it's true. this one works two ways because; a) you will feel like a better person when you aren't making fun of people all the time & b) you will actually become less insecure as well. it's okay if you slip up sometimes, but at least try not to vocalize your judgements to friends or whoever you are with. if you keep it in your head, you are more likely to be able to stop more quickly.

6. this is my favourite one! write lists of all the things that made you happy EVERY DAY. when i first started doing this, i found it incredibly difficult to even write one thing. doing this makes you realize how many amazing things actually happened to you & how lucky you are!! it also helps to open your eyes and see all the good little things happening. because even if you had the most awful and horrible day, i'm sure you would have seen something beautiful, even if it was just the way the light was shining on a random persons hair when you were on the bus or something. if it was beautiful & made you happy, WRITE IT DOWN. you will be amazed at how your lists will grow.

so, there you are! i have given you some things to start with, but of course, it is crucial that you also evaluate your own life & situation & see what needs to be changed or fixed. it might just be that your "friends" are actually a bunch of negative assholes or that you can't stand your job. if you desperately want to change anything in your life, you absolutely can. you are the only one who can control the things you do, so you have to go for it. life really is to short it spend it upset and bitter, don't you think?!

PS - want a shorter but also extended edition? i wrote this too.

i love you!!
♥ ♥ ♥