How To Be HAPPY

i have come to realize that a lot of people just don't know HOW to be happy. i even asked myself how i am happy, and i had trouble answering it myself, at first. i understand that becoming truly happy will be a different process for everyone, but there are some things that i think everyone can do to become just a little bit more happy.

1. you have to understand that even happy people are sad sometimes. if you try and be happy in the face of everything, and don't allow yourself some time to actually be upset if need be. if you don't, then you will just become really emotionally exhausted and burnt out, which will, inevitably, lead to being more unhappy than happy.

2. you also have to understand, though, that you shouldn't get really upset over everything. if things just aren't going your way, find a way to fix it! sometimes when you are having an unlucky or bad day, you just have to go with it until it's over. but don't let it bring you down! if i'm having an especially bad time, i like to look at the clouds because they are so relaxing! if there are no clouds or it's rainy, i watch the trees instead. i always find that looking at little things in nature makes me feel best, because it always amazes me and i can get lost in my imagination.

3. stop worrying about what everyone else is doing or what they are thinking. if you keep wondering what others are thinking about you, it will only ever lead you to becoming really insecure. i know it's harder to do than it sounds, and it might take a while to stop doing it, but life instantly become a hundred times better once you stop caring what anyone else thinks of you. the way i did it was to become selfish in a way. i did things for myself, and myself only. i wore clothes that i love, not to impress anyone, but because they made me happy. i did what i wanted to make me happy and stopped trying to impress anyone at all. i mean, really, why should you care about what some random person thinks of you? they don't know anything about you, and if they want to make silly assumptions, then that's their choice. but chances are that they probably aren't thinking anything bad anyway!

4. have a major clean up & clean out of your life! honestly, getting rid of all my old CRAP that had been sitting around in my room for years was one of the best things i ever did. this means cleaning out everywhere! i only have my bedroom to take care of, but wherever it is that you store all your things, CLEAN IT OUT! this means under your bed & in your cupboards, wardrobe & drawers, along with everywhere else. make sure everything is de-cluttered. my mum helped me a little when i cleaned out my room, and her motto was, "if it doesn't have a place to go, chuck it!". if you can't bear to throw some things away, but they don't have a place, get some of those big plastic tubs that can slide under your bed. i have for or five of them full of all my toys, haha! get rid of all your old clothes, too. give them to charity or other people that may want them, and then you will feel extra-good for helping out someone else as well!

5. stop judging other people. just stop doing it altogether. this is also another process that takes a while to stop, because it's usually just habit to laugh at someone or make assumptions about someone just because of what they look like. when you judge people, it's just a show of how insecure you really are about your own identity. i used to laugh when people would say that insecurity is the reason for judging and making fun of others, but now i know that it's true. this one works two ways because; a) you will feel like a better person when you aren't making fun of people all the time & b) you will actually become less insecure as well. it's okay if you slip up sometimes, but at least try not to vocalize your judgements to friends or whoever you are with. if you keep it in your head, you are more likely to be able to stop more quickly.

6. this is my favourite one! write lists of all the things that made you happy EVERY DAY. when i first started doing this, i found it incredibly difficult to even write one thing. doing this makes you realize how many amazing things actually happened to you & how lucky you are!! it also helps to open your eyes and see all the good little things happening. because even if you had the most awful and horrible day, i'm sure you would have seen something beautiful, even if it was just the way the light was shining on a random persons hair when you were on the bus or something. if it was beautiful & made you happy, WRITE IT DOWN. you will be amazed at how your lists will grow.

so, there you are! i have given you some things to start with, but of course, it is crucial that you also evaluate your own life & situation & see what needs to be changed or fixed. it might just be that your "friends" are actually a bunch of negative assholes or that you can't stand your job. if you desperately want to change anything in your life, you absolutely can. you are the only one who can control the things you do, so you have to go for it. life really is to short it spend it upset and bitter, don't you think?!

PS - want a shorter but also extended edition? i wrote this too.

i love you!!
♥ ♥ ♥

Eliminating the Negative

Chances are, in life, you will encounter negative people. You know the kind who are absolutely determined to see the bad in everyone and everything. The kind who are constantly putting others down and spending their time criticizing everything in their path. Yes, I'm sure you know just the kind of person I'm talking about. Sure, these people may have their good side too, but they can be so draining to be around, especially when they are being extremely negative. There isn't a lot you can do to change peoples behaviours, unless they actually want to change, but you can take steps to make sure you are a positive person! If you are able to see all the amazing things in the world, instead of just seeing all the problems and things you don't like, you will be surprised at how much more free you feel. So friends, let's charge onwards to make our lives as positive as possible!

Yes, I was a very negative person once. I was the one determined to see fault in every little thing, and I always preferred to criticize, rather than compliment. It's not easy turning yourself around, I'm not gonna lie! But you can - and really should! - try. Firstly, you have to realize that being positive and happy does not mean you become ignorant to the worlds problems. There are better ways to deal with problems in the world that upset you, rather than sitting around complaining and making everyone else feel sad too. Yes, some things might still make you feel really angry - like poverty, the governments decisions etc. - but these are things worth getting mad over. It's not worth getting mad over things like people who wear fake tans or a TV show you don't like. Why waste the energy being negative and complaining about these things, when you can just accept that it's a person's choice as to whether they wear fake tan or watch a certain TV show. It has nothing to do with you, and I'm sure you wouldn't like to be stupidly judged on certain aspects of your lifestyle either.

Secondly, try to become really conscious of when you start complaining about something - even if you don't think you complain a lot. If you find it hard - get people around you to point out to you when you are complaining. Make sure it's people that will actually tell you though! Or, if you are around a negative person a lot, just tell them that they are complaining. It may seem scary, but what's the worst they could do? Complain that you said they were complaining? ;D I find that a lot of negative people don't even realize what they are saying because negativity has become their habit. Once you become more aware of everything you say, it will be easier to change. Note what it is that you are complaining about and ask yourself, "is this worth getting upset about?" You could probably save yourself a lot of energy and time by just taking a deep, deep breath and reminding yourself that it really doesn't matter.

Thirdly, confront the issues that still annoy you. Maybe there is still that girl who just laughs way too loud, way too often and just really annoys you, and no matter how many deep breaths you take, you can't seem to let it go. Do something about it! I mean, you don't have to go up to her and tell her to be quiet, but you could listen to an iPod, do something, or go somewhere else where you couldn't hear her, right? There are many ways to solve the problems at hand, and once the problem is gone, there's nothing to complain about! If it's a bigger issue, such as governmental issues that just make you absolutely irate, (it's equal rights that does it for me) then it's time to get involved! Get out there and do what you can to change it. You can even do a lot by sitting at home on your computer, such as signing online petitions. Every little thing you do will make you feel like you are doing something to help, and this also creates the positive energy you have been looking for, as well as helping to minimize your problem. Hooray!

Surround yourself with things and people that inspire you. Sometimes you may just be feeling bitter because you are bored. Change around your furniture, put some new pictures on the walls! You will feel refreshed and less cluttered. When you can think clearly, it's a lot easier to be positive. Just remember, you don't have to be all happy smiles all the time. You are still allowed to complain if you've had a bad day, and be passionate about issues, just don't let silly little things annoy you. It's easy to be negative, the real achievement in life is being positive.

And this quote sums up exactly what I mean by being "positive":

"I just can't understand what is it with people and negativity. While I am by no means a "positive energy inpirational and motivational speaker", I certainly am not a negative person. It is not a matter of being positive, but just being confident about yourself and believing in you. When I say I am going to do something, I do it, no what if's or but's......just do it. I certainly always see the glass half full and I certainly tend to stay away from negative people, just because of the their negative vibe. Stay around someone negative long enough and it just seems to seep into your brain. Just be confident." - Loose Haylard @ Flickr

xoxo