Journal

So, I began journaling like I said I would. I really enjoy doing it, even if my creativity isn't really at the standard I would like it to be. Still, I can express the things I love in an entirely different format to what I'm used to. It's also a whole lot less nerve wracking than having a written journal, because I know that even if my little sister reads it, it won't make a whole lot of literal sense. It also brings back memories of being in pre-school and primary school, with the whole cutting-and-pasting thing. I even use the same clag glue paste that I did back then. Ahh, nostalgia.

The first one was me just trying out the style and seeing how well material stuck to paper etc. So it looks kind of messy but I still think it looks okay. The second one is of Tegan and Sara. I cut out their picture from an interview in a magazine, and stuck my favourite question and answer above it. On the opposite page I wrote the lyrics to their song "Back In Your Head". (Which I probably got wrong, hehe). The third and final page is just about my little love of ships. I saw the picture and knew I had to have it in my journal. Then it just spawned the writing about ships etc, which is kind of similar to what I said in my post about the sea side ♥

Today I also;
- Went to a 50's style diner, and had the most delicious burger & strawberry milkshake. The interior was filled with old coca-cola ads!
- Went shopping and actually found shoes I like ... but my size was sold out.
- Visited my nana ♥ She gave me lemons to use in my skin care recipes.

The weather is still rainy and the air is cool. I love it, I think it should stay this way until Summer is over. This afternoon I went into the garden, where the grass is overgrown. I sat down on the wet grass with my dog, and watched the wind blow yellow petals from the flowers on a tree. It was very beautiful.

I've begun to think a lot about school again. I am excited for buying new books and other things for my last year of school. I just hope that the year goes well!

freedom

today i quit the job that i didn't like working in. i have been sitting in bed eating marshmallows this afternoon. i found lots of lovely materials for my new journal, all i need now is to buy some new scissors and glue. my day has been nice.

Rain and Thunder and Ribbons and Journals

today, it is raining. i love the rain. it's so cosy. every now and then i can hear the distant rumbling of thunder. it's so relaxing and lovely.

i made a little cubby out of sheets and chairs today. the pictures didn't turn out so well, but i think it's very nice. it's perfect for rainy days like today.

i tied a big pink ribbon in my hair today, too. it's very pretty.

my brother and mum are outside, on the back veranda, playing "Guess Who?". Remember that game, where you had to ask questions to guess which character the other person has. Funnily enough, my mum was the one who asked to play it with my brother. Doesn't that just prove that there really is at least a little bit of a child inside of us all?!

♥

i found a wonderful journal community on livejournal today. it was full of such beautiful journals, like the one above. i think i just might start a creative journal. i have wanted to for a very long time, but the image of what i wanted it to be like was never clear in my mind. now it's quite a lot clearer and i'm very excited to start.

i very much need a new hair style. it has grown out to how i had it when i was 13. it looked pretty bad then, so i don't know why i have it like this now. i guess because it's a refreshing change to having hair all over my face. maybe i'll wait until summer is over to change it back again.

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♥

the shed

the shed is big and filled with old things. old beds, old chairs, old counters. the bathroom is outside, and at night you have to skip over the toads to get there. if you walk out the back far enough, you will find the river. if you walk far enough to the left you will come to the dam, where a miniature pony and it's mother play. i made friends with them once, but they followed me home.
in the shed, everything is mismatched. everything inside was bought because it was cheap.
i would prefer a nice hotel to the shed. i like things to match, i like new linen, i like new things. i like it when there aren't a thousand bugs flying around your face when you are trying to sleep. when it's time for bed, i pull the sheet up over my face, for fear that the bugs will land in my ears, nose or mouth. one night, i saw a firefly. it was so bright, i thought perhaps it was some kind of alien spy camera, instead of just an innocent, glowing bug.
at the shed we play cards to pass the time. sometimes our games can last forever. but you can only play cards for so long, and after a few games we will go and read on our own instead. i have been reading Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne.
one afternoon, at the shed, everyone was playing a family game of cricket - except my grandparents and i, i'm not big on sports. as my brother and cousin went racing for the ball, they collided, resulting in a lot of panic and blood. everyone quickly rushed to get the two boys into the car and they drove off to the hospital. my cousin had to have over 20 stitches in his forehead, and my brother had to have some above his eye. i waited nervously at the shed for three hours, watching the driveway closely for any sign of a car. all this time many scenarios were rushing through my head, all as upsetting as the next. so you can imagine my relief when my brother and cousin both sheepishly came back to the shed with stitches and bandages. my brother looks rather funny now. his eye is so puffed up and purple, that he cannot even open it. all you can see are his long eyelashes poking through the puffed skin. i told him, oh well, at least you'll have an excellent story to tell when you get back to school. he agreed with me.
we decided to stay for an extra day at the shed. i didn't want to. i was longing for home, for my friends and an internet connection, but i had to stay. we stayed at the shed full of old, mismatched things until the new year came. i decided that i needed to be happy when the new year came, not upset at the fact that i wasn't home, or else the whole year would go badly. so, i put a smile on my face and played cards with my family instead. we decided not to play cricket for a while. which is quite understandable, if you ask me.

i think i might like the seaside...

i went to the sea side. i don't usually like the sea side. most people assume i hate the sand, but then, most people assume many things about me that are incorrect. i don't correct them because i think even assumptions are use of the imagination. and i like that people think all sorts of funny things about me. what i actually don't like is being in the ocean, especially when the ocean has waves. also, having very fair skin, i find the very hot sun rather annoying. anyway, the sea side is very beautiful. it always takes my breath away. every time. most people i go to the beach with, are either eager to jump straight into the water, or trudge along the sand, sending complaints into the air about the sun and sand. but me, i like to stand on the shore and watch the water. i don't like to complain at the beach. i feel like i am disturbing the peace of the world if i complain there. i like to look at all the individual little shells poking through the sand. i like to search the horizon for ships, and i always wonder what the people on them are doing. usually, i think they are pirates. i always imagine that they would be singing and drinking rum. i also like to watch little crabs scurrying about on their important business, and i like to watch the seagulls swooping down around them. i can't help it, but everything i see, i wonder where it came from. i think about it's family and what it's experienced in it's life. one day, we went to the sea side when the tide was out. you could see thousands of tiny balls of sand that the crabs had made. i felt intensely guilty when i had no choice but to walk over them. i hoped that i wasn't ruining too much for the little creatures.


there is an abandoned ship at this beach, stuck in the mangroves. it is very mysterious. how did it get there? i had visited this beach and the boat many times over my years of holidays, and it is always there. i wonder what kind of things it saw at sea - if it ever went to sea. there is really no way of knowing. but it always makes me so curious. we went to the sea side another day, but at a different location, a bit further away. here, at the sea, there is a very long pier, that extends out over the ocean. all along it, fishermen were casting their lines, hopeful for a good catch. i drifted slowly up the pier. i couldn't help it. it was too beautiful, there was no way i could have gone any faster. i wish i could have taken more time, but my family were teasing me for being slow already. the tide was on it's way out, and so large banks of sand were left exposed for the first half of the journey up the pier. on the very horizon i could see the sails of just one ship. i thought that they were definitely pirates. even if the sails were too white. the water was the most perfect sea colour. green, but blue. and, if you looked hard enough, you could see where the water turned a magnificent deep blue, indicating deeper water. over to one side, in the distance, you could see land. my mother told us that it's where the fairies live. my brother told her fairies don't exist. "only because everyone forgot about them," she said. i stopped to look over the railing at one of the exposed sand banks. i could see a hundred little crabs, going about their business. one particular crab caught my eye. he was much bigger than the rest, and his blue shell was so shiny. i decided that he must definitely be the king. as i decided this, i noticed all the other crabs really did seem to be scurring around him, as though he was a very imporant crab. to the other side, opposite to the fairy land, the sea seemed to go on forever. the sky was so perfect, and the clouds looked like a marching band of animals. i definitely saw an elephant, as well as a rabbit and a cat. the marching band went almost all the way around the sky, and almost ended at the fairy land! all too soon, though, i was back on land. all i wanted to do was turn around and stay out on the pier all day. i thought that if i lived near the pier, that i would go there every single day. being on the pier made me happy, it made me feel alive. it was so peaceful, as the wind was so strong that it would block out the sound of any conversations as i wandered past. i felt safe and comfortable. i like going to the sea side on my own. for me, it's a peaceful place. it's not for yelling or screaming. or even talking. everything at the sea side makes me curious. it's all so simple. there is the ocean, the sand along with maybe some grass and trees. that is all. there is nothing overly complicated at the sea. it makes being a peaceful and curious person easy. at home i do live rather close to the sea. but not close enough that i could visit everyday, to walk, explore, read and write, which is what i'd like to do. i'd like to be at the beach while the sun is setting. that seems like it would be the most peaceful thing of all. maybe one day i will.


ps - HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR! I know this year is going to be super fabulous! My list of resolutions is quite long, though I've never had resolutions before. So I hope I can stick to them, because they all mean a lot to me.